Unfinished Business

My grandmother kept a diary for every day of her 63 years of marriage. Her last entry was the day my grandfather died and it simply said “Dad died today.” It seemed so simple but now that I have been widowed for almost eleven years, I have realized what those words implied – I have walked in her shoes. It is a very difficult adjustment and you never stop missing your loved one. But you find a way to move on and make a life without them.

When my grandmother passed away three years later, and the aunts were getting the house she had lived in for almost fifty of those sixty three years, ready to sell, they found many of her “diaries.” My grandfather was active in many jobs and organizations, and my grandparents would receive the little yearly date books given out at the end of a year and those were what most of her entries were in. My sister happened to be visiting at the time they were working on the house and managed to get about fifteen of the diaries, I later transcribed most of them. They were fascinating as she was more of a historian than she realized and would start each day with the temperature and humidity noted, then who she sent greeting cards to (or received them from if the occasion was noted) and spoke often of her relationship to the people she was remembering.

Since a couple of the diaries were in the seventies, she noted how often they would go to the funeral homes (there were three active ones in my hometown at that time) to visitations of family members and friends and acquaintances and often spoke of who they met up with, while there, and how they related to us (if they did) or how they knew them.  As I read them, I found myself thinking how sad that the later years of their life was spent in funeral homes so often. During those years I was a young wife and mother and seemed always to be very busy and only occasionally did I have a funeral to attend..

However, this past couple of months I have attended three funerals and several visitations and I am realizing that I am at the age of my grandmother when she was writing those diaries and I am beginning to understand more fully what my grandparents were experiencing. I read my home town newspaper online and more often they include people I went to school with, or former neighbors and again I realize that this is a normal progression in life.

All of this is leading up to having attended the funeral yesterday of my neighbor. The theme of the minister’s remarks was “Unfinished Business.” He spoke of how at the time we are called to make the journey home we will leave behind unfinished business – the things we were going to do tomorrow, or next week; the friends we were going to call, or go see and didn’t; the letters we were going to write and didn’t, etc. Well, you get the picture – just as I did. None of us knows when that hour will be that we will be called home – for some of us I am sure it is sooner than we hope or expect – but I now am more aware of the unfinished business I will leave behind.

I know that many people think when I sign a letter or a facebook post or whatever opportunity presents itself to me to use my mantra ‘hugs and love’ it is like saying ‘have a nice day.’ But is isn’t, my dear relatives and friends. I have always liked to hug, but have realized in the past few years that we all have missed opportunities to hug someone or to tell them that you love them. This is my way of hugging you and telling you that I love you, if I can’t be present to do it personally. But I try very hard to never miss the chance to show those I care for that I do love them with a hug and/or being able to tell them that I do. I really want people to know when I am the one who has gone home and left behind unfinished business that it wasn’t that I didn’t let them know how much they meant to me .

So as you read this blog, please know that each of you hold a special place in my life and heart. Hugs and love to you all. 

I Hate Noises!

I hate noises!!! It is now 12:38 in the morning and I have been up five times in the past hour, due to hearing these strange noises in the house. I never heard noises when my husband was alive (except for the noises he made), but never heard noises in the walls, the floors, the doors, the garage, outside – wherever they are coming from. I never paid attention to noises in the car or anywhere else for that matter until I started to live alone. Now I hear them all the time and it drives me crazy because I don’t know what they mean!

A little while ago, and again a few minutes ago, when I got up to write this, I heard a pop outside the bedroom window – at least I think it was outside! I had just begun to fall asleep when I heard it the first time, so I got up, turned on the light and started going through the house to see if anything seemed out of place or unusual – nothing seemed to be – so back to bed. Again, short time later, same thing – so again, I get up, look through the house, go to the garage, turn on the front porch light  - oops funny, hadn’t noticed those huge icicles – maybe one of those fell – but it’s too cold, nothing is melting.

Think I’ll check at the library tomorrow to see if there is a book on Noises for Dummies and Widows! No, not tomorrow – supposed to be so cold that nothing will be open and I shouldn’t be going out anyway. Next chance I get, will check on that book. If there isn’t one, maybe I should think about writing one!  Big problem with that – I don’t know what the noises mean – so not a good idea.

Best advice I can give to my lady friends – if you are still fortunate enough to have your husband by your side, ASK HIM! Pay more attention to the little noises – and the big noises – and ask what they could be. If I ever did ask my husband what a noise was, his stock answer was always “don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it tomorrow!” Big help that is. And now there are no tomorrows and no one to ask the questions of anyway – so back to square one – what the heck is that noise and what does it mean???

Now that I have this off my chest – not that I really feel that much better, since I still don’t know what the noises I heard are – guess I will try to go back to bed again and maybe I’ll fall sound asleep enough not to hear it next time it comes – that could be a good thing or a bad thing, guess we’ll know – TOMORROW!       

Hard To Say Goodbye

This is the response I made to a post on Facebook today and decided to blog it to keep it. The post was of a daughter saying goodbye to her mother, knowing it was going to be the last time she would see her alive.

It made me think of the many times I have said goodbye to my mother - when I moved to Michigan from Illinois, then, when I lived in Michigan and she was finally able to visit us (after an absence of nine years) due to her moving to California with my sister and her family. Her financial circumstances would not permit a visit before this time and of course, with a family, it was not feasible for me to go there. However, after that visit I vowed that there would never be that much time between our visits again, and happily I can say, there never was.

There were other goodbyes, though, when I lived in California and she had moved to Oregon with my sister. During one of those visits, it tuned out to be the last one, when she died six months later.

The Facebook post made me think of a time when I was at the Ontario airport (do not remember the occasion, if we were seeing someone arriving or leaving) and a young girl, probably in her late teens or very early twenties, was saying goodbye to her mother. As her mother boarded the plane, she broke into a hard cry, so I walked over and put my arm around her and pulled her into my shoulder and let her sob. After a few minutes, she thanked me and said " it is so hard." I remember saying to her " I have been there many times and fully understand what you are feeling." She hugged me, thanked me again and walked away. I often think of her - that was some twenty years ago now - and wonder if she is still saying goodbye to her mother. Her mother would be in her sixties now. I was glad that I was there for her.

It is a good feeling when we are able to be of comfort to someone and I hope I never miss the opportunities God puts in my path. I am grateful for the many times I have been able to step out of the norm and be there for someone at just the right time. I urge you to look around and be ready to experience your moment like this.

Unforseen Blessings

 Sometimes it is amazing how things happen - today, with the bad weather, I toyed with staying home from volunteering in the hospital Gift Shop - hut I thought of all the employees and visitors, who regularly come in, and who would be disappointed to not be able to get the items they wanted or needed, so I made the decision to go in. I ran a little late, but by then the roads were good and I had no problem getting to the hospital.

Later in the day, I began thinking of how different the day would have been if I had not gone in - for one, I would have missed the chance to see a long time favorite, former employee of the hospital, who is now CEO of a sister hospital, and a man I have admired since my first day working at the hospital; I would not have met a lady, who during our conversation, mentioned she had lived in Illinois - later to find out that she had lived in the town where I was born and raised - which led to talking about the area - and she described a furniture store she enjoyed going into - which happens to belong to my cousin's husband's family; I would not have run into a neighbor, who I had planned to stop by her house later to make my reservation to the White Oak Christmas party, thus giving her the check and saving me having to get out in the cold again; plus the many hugs and greetings that I so enjoy. Rethinking on these instances made me realize how we never know what blessings God has planned for us when we follow His lead and let it all unfold for us.

Several times during the day, I checked to see what was going on with the weather, to realize that the snow had stopped, but it was turning quite a bit colder. Several people asked if I was concerned about getting home to which I answered, "Not at all, He got me here safely; He'll get me home the same way" to which I can gladly report - all was well on the drive home and I did arrive safely, to spend the rest of the evening snuggled in my Snoozie slippers and wrapped in my electric throw as I am enjoying being on the computer or watching television.

I hope everyone who reads this has had an equally good day and is aware of the many unforseen blessings in their day.

Unforseen Blessings

Thoughts During The Storm

Just a short time ago, a pretty severe storm went through the area and I penned these comments during that time.

The rain is pelting the windows and storm door with a fierceness, accompanied by the sound of hail. At the sound of the tornado siren, I reached for my Bible and it opened to Psalm 97. Reading David's words assured me of God's Power and Dominion, just as the heading stated. (I was using the Open Bible, New American Standard).

I felt completely at peace as I read the Psalm several times. The thought came to me to do this writing - feeling secure in His safety. Several times I had the urge to go to the window and look out - but how could I? - if my trust is in God, I did not, nor do not, need to take on what is happening outside - only to accept and hold on to my knowledge that God is ever present and I am safe and secure in knowing that.

Believe me when I tell you that immediately after writing that sentence, the rain stopped and all seemed - NO, WAS - calm and I felt even more God's assurance that all is well. Thank you Lord, that again you have shown me Your ability to stop the storms, no matter how severe they seem.

Truly, as Psalm 97, vs. 1 says - The Lord reigns; let the earth rejoice; let the many islands (coastlands) be glad. vs. 2,: Clouds and darkness surround Him; vs 3: Righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne. Reading on, vs. 6: The heavens declare His righteousness, and all the people have seen His glory.

The sun came out, the wind and sirens ended and once again, because of You, Lord, all is right with my world. May I always remember this when other storms in my life appear.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

Oct 4, 2014 – “Great is thy faithfulness” are the words to an old hymn – but today’s events got me to thinking of how faithful God is too me each day, if I just let Him unfold it for me.

            A week ago this past Sunday, I mentioned to a friend at church that a couple of my faucets were leaking and would he come and look at them. Without a second thought he said he would as soon as he could. The end of that week, on Saturday, he called to tell me he would be right over. While looking at the hookup of the faucets, etc., we discovered that my garbage disposal had been leaking for some time and quite a bit of old, moldy water had accrued on the floor of the cabinet. We soaked it up with several old towels and rags and because it was causing us both a little problem with our allergies, we left it and I said I would clean it up shortly. However, I soon realized that I have difficulties getting down on my knees to get at it. I then called a friend from church, who came right over, got down under there and cleaned the whole mess up. On the following Wednesday night, at Bible study I mentioned to Joey that I could be home on Saturday morning, if he had time to come over. He said he would see how it would work out. Because I was having to adjust to how I used the sink, I became a little impatient at not knowing how soon this could be taken care of. On Friday night I asked a friend if she knew a good plumber and she gave me the number of the man she uses on her properties. When I called him he said that he was out of town, but I should call him the next day at eleven a.m. as he would be home and able to come over and see what I needed.

            This was last night – shortly after I got up this morning, Joey called and said he was on his way over. Knowing I had to return this call at eleven, I asked him to give me an idea when he would be here, and he said shortly! Well, about five minutes to eleven came, and I was sitting reading – The Tribulation Force – one of the Left Behind series. I laid the book down, and thought about the fact that I hadn’t heard from Joey, thought he would be here by now, etc. and trying to decide about calling the other gentleman. As I stood up to go get his number, the thought came to me – Be patient, Nancy -  I am in control of this and all will be done in the right timing! The thought had barely left my mind, when the doorbell rang and there stood Joey and another man. When he introduced me to his friend, the man turned out to be the man I was supposed to call!!! Immediately I knew that by trusting the thought that had occurred to me, this was the answer to it. In a few minutes he knew exactly what I needed, they left and soon returned with the parts needed and within a couple of hours had me all fixed up. The three of us, spoke several times during the time they were here, how we knew this was the Lord at work and acknowledged His presence in it.

            All afternoon and this evening I have pondered this and while listening to the Gaither Gospel hour and hearing the hymn sang – Great is Thy Faithfulness – I realized that is something I should do everyday - think of how many times God has ‘come through’ for me this day – and how much I have been blessed because of His Faithfulness, but along with that goes my need to put all of my trust in Him. Thank you Lord, for another proof of your ever presence in my life. Help me to see it more and praise you more for it.